Dear Gossip Mongers:

I am an unabashed liberal. A proud liberal. I believe in states rights, civil rights, families’ rights, government assistance when you truly need it, a woman’s right to a safe abortion, equal pay for equal work and volunteerism. I believe in the separation of church and state and with that, every person’s right to practice—or not to practice—their spirituality, and not have other’s religious views foisted upon them.

I believe that two consenting adults should be allowed to marry each other, regardless of race, gender, or sexual orientation.

I believe that two consenting adults should be allowed to live together in love and harmony and raise a family and not be forced to marry.

I respect that others disagree with my beliefs. I hope that they can treat me with respect, knowing that I respect their divergent beliefs as well.

On the list of things I don’t care about:

• Various politicos trying drugs in their youth. That Bill Clinton smoked pot in college, whether he inhaled or not, I absolutely, unequivocally do not care.
• Various politicos having made bad choices in their pasts. George W. Bush’s drug and alcohol problems as a young man are his alone, and his to own. Good for him for getting past it. Not an issue now. I don’t care about it.
• Whether or not someone served in Vietnam. Don’t care. A lot of people got deferments. A lot of people served elsewhere and elsewise. My point: It was 40 years ago. Let’s all move past the choices of their youths, and of their parents to help the children they loved to avoid being forced to serve in what was the Iraq of their generation (meaning: A big, highly-unfavorable, terrible war).
• The reported extramarital affairs of the various politicos, including but not limited to: Speaker Newt Gingrich, Gov. Eliot Spitzer, Sen. Gary Hart, Gov. James McGreevey, Bill Clinton, JFK, FDR, Thomas Jefferson, Grover Cleveland, Woodrow Wilson, Dwight Eisenhower, etc. Their lives. Their bedrooms. Their karma. DON’T CARE.

As such, I want to be clear:

I do not care and do not want to hear about Sarah Palin’s daughter. She is 17. She made a choice and is dealing with it. Had she chosen abortion, I would feel the same. HER LIFE. HER CHOICES. NOT MY BUSINESS. We owe this girl nothing less than privacy and respect.

I do not care about some 20+ year-old incident on Palin’s husband’s driving record. LET IT GO!

Leave her family alone, media. While you’re at it, leave Joe Biden’s family be, leave Obama’s family alone, leave McCain’s family alone. All of them. I DON’T CARE.

Let me say this again: I am a proud LIBERAL. Liberal is a good word, and there are many, many of us with these beliefs who are good, caring, intelligent, patriotic people. And there are many of us who are idiots (Hello, Mike Malloy). Just as there are many, many ridiculous and idiotic conservatives (I’m talking to you, Anne Coulter), and many good, kind, intelligent, patriotic conservatives, including some of my very own family members.

THAT SAID:

I DO care when people try to associate such muckraking with one side of the political arena or the other.

It’s ignorant.

Yes, there is a liberal media (Hello, ABC). Yes, there is a conservative media (Hello, FOX).

Yes, both sides try to capture viewers/readers and be opinion leaders. They make MONEY. Most times, raking muck is how they do it.

But media, there was no part of me that was ever going to vote for the McCain ticket. And seeing how Palin’s daughter ISN’T ON the ticket, nor Palin’s husband—leave them out of it. Talk about Palin’s track record. Talk about Palin’s ability to govern.

Some choice that was made or something that happened 20 years ago to a member of someone’s family? I DON’T CARE.

I freely admit that I acted like an asshat 20 years ago.

I presume that WE ALL ACTED LIKE ASSHATS at various points in our lives.

Thank gawd I have changed.

Thank gawd you have too.

So let’s also presume that politicians have changed over the course of the last decades, just as we have, and get back to actual, important, valid, kind and respectful political DISCOURSE.

Thanks.

My biggest fear about growing old was growing boring. As I watched my parents age, it seemed to me they never did ANYTHING. I mean, they went to school events and drove us places. They went to church. But they never actually DID anything, you know, FUN. And from my 13-year old perspective, it seemed like all the married couples I knew—like my parents friends who came over most Saturday nights for dinner—were exactly like my folks. They, too, eventually entered this great long boring phase, comprised solely of raising a family.

It felt like my parents had given up on life. Like suddenly, they didn’t care about the world, but rather, had become more content simply existing in it. They were always tired, always busy with horrible things like work and cleaning and my siblings. They didn’t do anything. They were just married. Therein lied the excitement of life: Wake, shuttle, work, home, clean, sleep. Wash, rinse, repeat.

Upon recognizing this pattern, my 13-year old self decided I would be different. I decided would not be like my parents—not in that way. There had to be more to life. I could be famous! I could live in foreign lands! I could DO ANYTHING!

Fast forward 25 years—to a time when I can actually reference my past in epoch-like chunks, aka, NOW.

My life does not revolve around my kids. It IS my kids. Lots and lots of kids. Whether driving kids, or attending functions for kids, or worrying over kids, or helping kids fall back to sleep or making food for kids or cleaning up after kids or shuttling kids from place to place… In general: Kids.

My life is also my partner, whom I am grateful to spend quality time with between the hours of 10:30 p.m. and 5:45 a.m. Time which sometimes includes conversation; usually about 5 minutes of reading; and generally 7 hours of near-constantly interrupted sleep (see previous paragraph).

My life is also work. Like most people, I work for money, which pays for living expenses. Living expenses, you know, like water and food and a place to live and gas and clothing, and more food. For kids.

I sometimes lay wake and examine our life, and I wonder how I missed the left at Albuquerque.

I didn’t understand that all the boring that I saw in my parents’ world was the gap created by what my parents had given up for me. They gave up on the FUN things and became dull because they were good parents.

I was late in this realization– it came in labor, actually, mid-push– that when you have kids, you are no longer the center of your universe. You simply cannot be your primary focus AND still be an engaged parent.

Because part of being an engaged parent means shuttling kids around. And worrying. And working so they have food and clothes. And cleaning and cooking so they grow and are fed and yadda yadda yadda.

And even though I do all these boring, boring, ungawdly boring things, I realize didn’t end up like my folks after all.

See, all those other married couples I knew? They were my parents’ friends. Yeah—my parents had FRIENDS. People that came over for dinner, or that went on family vacations with us. People they laughed with and with whom they enjoyed conversations—ACTUAL grown-up conversations.

When was the last time my partner-in-crime and I had anyone over for dinner?

When was the last time we were social outside our little family unit?

*crickets*

Our kids may be the sun in our world, but even the Earth needs the moon to function effectively.
Clearly, I need to start acting like my parents’ type-of boring.