A whole bucketful of awesome.

I live in a town of very religious wingnuts. Sometimes these two things are mutually exclusive; but most times, religious zealotry and wingnuttery go together like Reese’s peanut butter cups. Alas, if only one could make a delicious confection of the two.

So this local chiropractor comes to our ad department and wants to use this nifty little slogan he’s created: “God has no hands. He uses mine to heal you.” It takes our sales guy 15 minutes to talk him out of using that slogan in his print ad.

I tell my gf about this, and she says, “I don’t even get to the part where he’s helping. All I can think about is, ‘God doesn’t have any hands?’ It’s really messing with me. Does he have, like, hooks?”

And that is how this was born.

PLEEEEEEASE just go read it and comment and pet my head and validate me. Like the parking ticket that I am.